I Want

Alexander wanted to conquer the world, Caesar wanted Cleopatra and Brutus wanted Rome, Wright brothers wanted to be the pioneers in aviation, Nelson Mandela wanted the colorful nation to be as peaceful as heaven itself…… these and many more famous people with their larger than life wants (at least for the commoners!) lived and will be livening in our world…. And then there are “We”…. With our monotonous, somehow eventful life where every day is same old story but with a twist of dreams, commitments, troubles, affairs and a small or may be big (mine a big one!) list of Wants.

Economics defines it (wants) something which we Desire. Desire which in philosophy has been identified as a philosophical problem! So I think I can say Problems=Desire=Wants so Wants=Problems. The problems we have in our lives with our partners, with our bosses, with autowala’s, with income tax…all problems lead to somebody’s want. I am sure by now you would have guessed where am leading to & where am coming from.

Everyone has wish list of wants and the list is endless! I wanted a Fossil which was replaced by a powerful street bike and then moved on to a soap box look alike Car to gamers gadgets like Xbox & PSP to having a 17 year old desire to own a high end G-Shock and now from the forests of Amazon a small Kindle.

These wants can be worldly (Christians refer worldly to devil & temptation!!), psychological, personal, general, human, inhuman and many more. It can be anything…and anything can be changed to a want. One never knows when a need becomes want & a want will be a need. I strongly believe that I “want” to attach a prefix for want to give it another definition. “Acquired want”, this has developed with globalization I think. We see people what they have, how they behave, where all they go and party, relax, kill time or make use of their time; whatever! When we find these so called rich/famous/hero/awesome people we want to be like them, so we start imitating their wants in our list of wants… I have done it and am sure you would have done it too!! Now this has affected our individuality and our way of thinking.

We tend to force our wants on ourselves first and then the person who is closest to us. This may be subconsciously or deliberate; which we have to understand as to what we are doing to others. I have seen this behavior with my own and people I know and somehow I feel this is inevitable. At the same time I wonder how come I master the art of not imposing or have I?? Frankly I don’t, I have seen myself imposing my values on others…may be my value are more chilled than others *(I will tell you later why I think like that). Usually everyone believe that they are right in what they are thinking and that is when we fail to realize that we saying NO to change, we are saying NO to a thought which might-might not change your way of seeing the life or the world. We have made ourselves tuned to thinking that if another individual is differing from the thought than that person is trying to either suppress me or he/she is oblivious of my thoughts.

I am here taking liberty to use thoughts=wants as wants are first born as thoughts.

Anyways, I have learned in this life till now that wants are always imposed by others and nothing more to it. My mom wanted me to be a Doctor and my father a CA even though he always knew 2+2=69 for me and look at me today…ended up in putting myself on sale to the corporate world!! And for my parents I didn’t care what they wanted as per them because I kept my wants first. The strangest part this want plays in our relations is when you begin a relation, the wants look very genuine but then as the time passes we tend to feel the heat. We start to love a person with what he/she is but in the due course of time our mind and heart takes over and commands us with satisfying our wants and very strangely we super impose them on the people whom we love the most, whom we don’t want to lose ever. They are ready to change the person who matter the most to them just to make their mind at ease! In the urge of fulfilling these wants we castrate others thoughts, heart which ultimately costs them that person someday. How difficult can it get to understand the fact that never push too much that the person dies in the process?? Whenever I had an encounter of such nature first thing I can remember is how my ancestors would have felt when Brits tried everything possible in their control to impose their wants on Indians….. And what happened ultimately?? They paid the price. Ultimately…after around more than 100 years of battle but it did take place. So I say it always snaps but just a matter of time.

Time to play Promoter of Faith (Devil’s Advocate), I also agree with letting your thoughts go public. Let the person know what you think. Sometimes it’s good to let others know what you think, this might help in betterment of the communication between two. If you know what you want, it makes easy to have a decision. Isn’t it? I love that feeling. However hard the decision may be, if I am clear with my wants or thoughts, I will be able to stick to my decision till the end *(My wants qualify here).

To justify your wants on the grounds of “if they are right or wrong”; we need to learn the art of understanding the problem, coming out of the problem and realizing who/what is causing it?, searching for the right solution. *(My wants qualify here) One should be able to analysis from third parties point of view; which is the most important part while judging your want but Do we actually do that exercise? I don’t think so. Like I said earlier, we fundamentally believe what we think or want is right and the rest are just trying to take advantage of me.

It’s difficult to let go of wants but if a want makes you let go of the person you love the most than what’s the point of having such a want which ensures that you are stranded alone on a island?!

Keep wanting!